


a 'bwah' kind of feeling

by sodelicate



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 5+1 Things, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Eventually Resolved Sexual Tension, Fluff, Interrupted Kissing, Kissing, M/M, SFW sexual tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Volleyball Dorks in Love, suga gives a sex talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 13:18:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16787719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodelicate/pseuds/sodelicate
Summary: "He would really like anotherbwahkiss with Kageyama. And from the way Kageyama’s looking at him, it’s obvious he wants anotherbwahkiss too.If only it was as easily said as done.Hinata blames the rest of the freaking world."Or: Five times Hinata and Kageyama get interrupted right before a kiss, and the one time they'refinallynot.





	a 'bwah' kind of feeling

**Author's Note:**

> this is based on a [request i got on tumblr!](https://hqissodelicate.tumblr.com/post/180620581442/a-bwah-kind-of-feeling) the request was: “There’s no way that it’s not going there, With the way that we’re looking at each other" — as in, ['There's No Way' by Lauv ft Julia Michaels.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MZ8guTxcFU)

**#0:**

To be honest, Hinata isn't completely sure how it happened. All he knows is that one moment they were bickering about one thing or another as they tend to do, with Hinata being gradually backed up against the gym wall without him realising it happening, and the next they made brief eye contact and here they are now, kissing like the whole world is at stake. In a way it is, because anything they do together, it’s a competition. Even a kiss — _especially_ a kiss.

Kageyama pulls away roughly from the kiss for air. He glares down at Hinata as he growls, “What the hell, dumbass?”

“What — why are you blaming this on _me?_ ” Hinata retorts heatedly. “I wasn't the one — _you_ kissed—” But he trails off when he realises he isn't sure who started the kiss. Maybe it was him. Maybe it was this idiot standing in front of him. Or maybe they moved in for the kiss together, like a perfect synchronisation.

But — he finds that he doesn't quite mind the spontaneous kiss. It was really _bwah_ , you know? You know, that _bwah_ feeling you get somewhere in your heart when you kiss someone super passionately and they return it with a rivaling level of passion.

He would really like another _bwah_ kiss with Kageyama. And from the way Kageyama’s looking at him, it’s obvious he wants another _bwah_ kiss too.

If only it was as easily said as done.

Hinata blames the rest of the freaking world.

* * *

**#1:**

Damn it. Thanks to the residual _bwah_ feelings from yesterday's _bwah_ kiss, Hinata can barely focus on volleyball when Kageyama is right there. It really is out of character for him, since he is — as Tsukishima likes to snidely put it, a volleyball idiot — but, well, Kageyama _is_ pretty much volleyball. They are synonymous. Kageyama shares his consuming passion for volleyball, he excels at it, he is Hinata’s access to the volleyball world, so he must be _volleyball_. Or something. It makes sense in his mind, okay?

And besides for that, there's also the fact that suddenly overnight, Kageyama has become ridiculously attractive. It’s madness. It shouldn't be legal for anyone to be so damn attractive, with stupidly alluring blue eyes, or stupidly well-toned shoulders, or stupidly impressive thighs. No, Hinata doesn't understand it, and he doesn't understand the sudden _want_ for his stupid setter.

The only thing that makes up for his embarrassment at having so many volleyballs hit him in the face and Kageyama yelling at him for being a dumbass, is that Kageyama himself seems just as distracted. All throughout practice, the both of them have repeatedly made eye contact — in that split second of contact, there's this unspoken _bwah_ sentiment Hinata is pretty sure they both can feel, and that usually precedes getting a volleyball in the face.

Hinata barely pays attention to the captain and coach yelling at him to focus, thanks to that burning desire sneaking through him. It makes him so riled up he spikes the volleyballs he manages not to miss with way more force than usual, causing a lot of his spikes to fly out of the court.

Daichi smacks him up the head with a rolled-up newspaper (where did he even get that from?). “If only you were paying proper attention, then you could make proper use of this newfound strength you've found from… wherever.”

(Hinata swears he spots Daichi and Suga exchange knowing looks. But he could be mistaken. There's no way this ridiculously consuming desire could be that obvious to everyone, right? It’s that thing Tsukishima once called it — the illusion of translucency, or something _gah_ like that.)

After practice, Coach Ukai debriefs them. Hinata doesn't catch most of it, distracted by Kageyama sitting right beside him — and by ‘right beside him’, Hinata actually means _right_ beside him. Their thighs brush against each other, sending tingles up Hinata’s arms and neck. And, most of all, he can _see_ Kageyama out of the corner of his eye. Do you have any idea what bad things that's doing to his concentration? It’s a very _hnngh_ feeling.

Hinata thanks the sun when the coach _finally_ ends his debrief. He leaps to his feet, turns to Kageyama and exclaims, “Toss some more for me, Kageyama!”

“Yeah, sure!” Kageyama leaps up and follows him hot on his heels to the ball cart.

“Wait, but — but you two were barely able to focus during practice,” Suga protests, sounding bemused. “You really should go home and rest. You guys don't want to burn out, do you?”

“I don't know if it even _is_ possible for volleyball idiots like them to burn out,” Tsukishima scoffs on his way out of the gym, and Yamaguchi snickers beside him.

“We’ll be fine!” Hinata chirps. “I have lots of energy to burn anyway!”

“Well, if you say so,” Daichi says wearily, rubbing his forehead. “Just pack everything away and lock up once you're done, and don't stay too late.”

“Yes, Daichi-san!”

And so, they practise, and practise, and practise. Hinata shoves that _hnngh_ and _bwah_ feeling to the back of his mind, and for the first time that day, he focuses fully on just spiking the ball as it’s sent to him.

But those feelings are extremely persistent. Eventually, they claw back to their rightful spot at the front of his mind, and he can't take it anymore. Since they're alone in the gym, Hinata decides to just say it.

“I want to kiss you.”

Kageyama jerks so badly the ball ends up flying in the complete opposite direction. “What the — where the hell did that even come from?!”

“All… all practice,” Hinata mutters, profoundly embarrassed now that he's said it aloud.

“What?! Was that why you were fucking up so badly during practice?” Kageyama demands.

Hinata scowls at him. “That's not why — I _wasn't_ — anyway, I'm probably a better kisser than you anyway,” he says, switching tactics. Beside, he really doesn't want to waste time arguing when they could be kissing. And as he said earlier, he _really_ wants to kiss Kageyama.

Kageyama’s glower increases tenfold in fierceness, though there is another feeling underlying it — a _bwah_ sort of feeling, it seems. “Oh, you think?! Bring it on then, dumbass!”

Hinata doesn't waste any more time. He practically launches himself at Kageyama, grabs the front of his shirt and yanks him down to his level. His eyes flutter shut as he tilts his head, and he can feel Kageyama’s breath against his lips. So close, he's so close—

“Hinata-kun, Kageyama-kun! The keys — the captain forgot to — _oh!_ ”

Startled, Hinata tears himself away from Kageyama and leaps a mile away. His face blazes with mortification as he jerkily turns his head and spots Yachi standing in the doorway, her face as red as Hinata’s feels and her hands over her eyes.

“I’m so — I'm so sorry!” Yachi squeaks. “I swear I wasn't — I didn't mean to! I'm not a voyeur! I don't go around purposely peeping on boys kissing! And there's nothing wrong with that, of course! I'm not a — I have nothing against stuff like that! It’s okay if Hinata-kun and Kageyama-kun want to kiss! I just — I'm so sorry please don't get mad at me and yell at me I'm so sorry!”

“It — it’s okay, Yachi-san,” Hinata says weakly. He rubs the back of his neck and resolutely looks at anywhere except for Kageyama and Yachi. “You said Daichi-san forgot something?”

“Oh, yes, that!” Yachi brandishes the gym keys from her pocket. “He forgot to pass you two the keys to lock up the gym afterwards, so I offered to come back and give it to you. I'm so sorry! I swear—”

“It’s fine,” Kageyama mutters brusquely. “Let’s just — let’s go. It’s late anyway.”

Hinata nods, though he feels a little crestfallen. Damn, he really was looking forward to that _bwah_ kiss.

 _Next time, and no one will walk in on us,_ he vows.

He should’ve known that would just jinx _everything_.

* * *

**#2:**

Curse Tsukishima. Not only because he is tall and smart and mean, but also because _just_ as Hinata has finally gotten some privacy with Kageyama to finish what they started in the gym several days ago, he just _had_ to walk in on them.

“Geh!” Hinata yelps. “What are you doing here, Stupid-shima?!”

Tsukishima stares imperiously down at Hinata, irking him even more. “I could ask you the same thing — what are you doing in a storage room?”

Kageyama bristles. “None of your business, asshole.”

“Well,” Tsukishima drawls, punctuated by an eye-roll, “if you didn't _want_ other people butting into your business, maybe you should've shut the door properly before jumping each other's bones like some uncivilised beasts. _And_ on school property, no less.”

“Tsukki, maybe we should leave Hinata and Kageyama to their… thing,” Yamaguchi suggests gently.

“Yeah, the stink of teenaged hormones is getting to me anyway,” Tsukishima says, sauntering away with a snicker.

“You're a teenager too, asshole!” Hinata yells after his retreating form. “Seriously, what _is_ that guy’s problem? Did Nekoma’s Rooster-Head-san rub off on him during the training camps or what? Kenma’s always complaining Kuroo-san’s like an old man in a teenager’s body or something.” He knows he's just babbling nonsense, but he needs something to fill the sudden silence. He's never done well with silence, especially when there's another person in talking-range.

Now that Yamaguchi and Tsukishima are gone, Hinata is left staring awkwardly at Kageyama’s chest. An odd sort of satisfaction washes over him when he spots how crumpled the front of Kageyama’s shirt, but also a frustrated longing. Does the universe not want them to even have one kiss? And he was _so_ close too.

“Another time, dumbass,” Kageyama mutters. “Somewhere idiots like that megane won't walk in on us.”

Hinata seriously hopes so.

* * *

**#3:**

This has to be the perfect spot, Hinata decides. He can barely hold himself back as it is. He's been getting restless lately, what with the few private spots he can find with Kageyama to properly make out in.

“Stop pushing me, dumbass,” Kageyama grunts as Hinata grabs the front of his shirt and pushes him back against the wall outside the store.

“Sorry,” Hinata whispers. Blood thunders through his veins like lava, and he steels himself up with several deep breaths. _Finally_. After a week of waiting in painful longing, they _finally_ have some time alone without their teammates or schoolmates or anyone trying to interrupt their time together.

“Then hurry up and get to it,” Kageyama growls. He seizes Hinata by his shoulders and tugs him close. Hinata watches his eyelids flutter shut, before doing the same himself and tilting his head. Finally, after so much longing and wanting but not being able to get what he wants, he finally has this quiet, solitary, uninterrupted moment—

“ _‘It’s gonna take a lot to drag me’_ — wait, what the _hell_ are you two doing here?!” a familiar voice cuts in right when Hinata is about to lean in to kiss Kageyama.

With a yelp, Kageyama shoves Hinata back, causing him to fall flat on his ass. The two of them whirl around and find their coach, who's red-faced and pointing his cigarette at them like a sword.

“What are you — I mean, it’s not like I have anything _against_ — but don't do that right outside my store!” Ukai shouts, flustered. “Take that home! Just don't let it — if this… whatever affects your game, we’re gonna have _words_ , okay? So go home!” He throws two paper bags of meat buns at them, before turning around and storming back into his store. “Jeez, I can't even step out for a smoke break without seeing some sort of stupid teen PDA.”

Kageyama, without meeting Hinata’s eyes, stretches out his hand. Hinata takes it, letting himself be hauled up.

“Well… that was a stupid idea, stupid,” Kageyama huffs. “Right outside Coach’s store — what were you thinking?!”

Hinata’s face heats up. Now that his mind is no longer a haze of blinding lust, he realises how truly stupid his idea was, to try and make out right outside their coach’s store, where their coach could walk out any moment.

He really ought to get creative.

* * *

**#4:**

Seriously, training is going to be the end of Hinata. All the eye contact he keeps making with Kageyama, electrifying his every nerve — he can barely restrain himself from grabbing Kageyama and shoving him into the storeroom and having his way with him. It’s just so _bwah_ but also so _ugh_ that he can't act on these feelings because others are around.

This time, however, he's able to better concentrate during training. He receives fewer volleyballs with his face, and most of his spikes go where he wants them to go, so he considers that a small win in his book. He's even running faster (though whether that's from actual improvement in performance or just the rush of hormones, he isn't sure), so all in all this has been a pretty good practice, unresolved sexual tension aside.

But this victorious feeling doesn't last long.

“Hinata, Kageyama!” Suga calls to them, just as Hinata is about to make a beeline for Kageyama and drag him into a quiet corner. “Let’s walk home together — I wanna talk to you both. I’ll treat you to meat buns!”

“Okay, sure!” Hinata hums, completely won over by the offer of free meat buns. 

(He fails to consider _why_ his vice-captain might want to talk to him and Kageyama, and especially just as he's about to find an outlet for his unresolved desire for his setter.)

Hinata’s face threatens to burn itself off his face when Suga reveals why exactly he summoned them after practice — after purchasing three meat buns, the much beloved vice-captain proceeds to deliver his extremely detailed and comprehensive gay sex talk that Hinata never got and _really doesn't need right now_ , because _damn_ did the world love getting in the way of him and Kageyama or what? It sounds like Suga has rehearsed this multiple times in front of a mirror, what with the way he barrels on with his speech despite Kageyama and Hinata’s embarrassed protests. This makes Hinata even more embarrassed for reasons he's not sure he can vocalise at the moment.

By the end of it, Kageyama is glaring at the sidewalk, while Hinata looks everywhere except for his vice-captain and setter.

“I hope you understand why I gave this talk to you two,” Sugawara says, sweet and gentle as ever. “There's nothing wrong with what you're doing, as long as it doesn't interfere with your studies, volleyball, or — most importantly — your personal welfare.”

“Yeah, we get it.” Kageyama mutters.

Suga nods, seeming satisfied. “Well, as long as you know that. I’ll see you two on Friday for practice. Get home safely and have a good night’s rest, you two!”

Even after Suga cheerily trots off (who the heck is so cheery after delivering a lengthy and awkward sex talk?!) and leaves them alone, Hinata has suddenly lost all desire to make out with Kageyama.

Maybe that was Sugawara’s objective all along. 

Huh, now that's a thought.

* * *

**#5:**

Hinata decides he isn't taking any more chances. School is obviously not an option, and neither is the area outside the back area of Coach Ukai’s store.

Hence, after school, he brings Kageyama home with him, where he knows they'll have privacy since his parents and sister aren't home.

Of course, working up to the _actual_ kiss takes time. After the multiple instances he's gotten interrupted, the usual haze of burning lust is dampened somewhat by cautiousness and fear they’d get walked in on again. Plus, there's the whole awkwardness of being, like, intimate with someone like that. He doesn't know, okay? He wants to feel _bwah_ but there's also the creeping feeling of _ugh_ too. Why’s being a teenager who wants a kiss so hard?

“Oi,” Kageyama grunts. “Are you gonna, like, kiss me or what?”

Hinata flinches at the bluntness of the question. “W-well, if _you_ wanted to kiss _me_ , you could've done something first!” he huffs.

“ _Y_ _ou_ were the one who brought me to _your_ home in the first place! So don't blame me for thinking you'd make a move first or something!”

“What the — what kinda logic is that?” Hinata demands, indignant.

“Better than your logic, that's for sure,” Kageyama snaps back.

“Ugh, you're impossible.” Still, Hinata doesn't see any point in delaying the inevitable — and despite his irritation, he would also _really_ like to kiss Kageyama — so he scoots closer to Kageyama and onto his lap, grabbing his shoulders for stability. Kageyama grunts a little under Hinata’s sudden weight.

“What, can't take my weight, Yamayama-kun?” Hinata teases, poking Kageyama’s nose.

“No, you idiot!” Kageyama says defensively. “You weigh less than a damn twig.”

“Hmph, rude.” But Hinata can't stay offended by Kageyama’s remark, because now he's much closer to the person of his desires, the one he's been wanting but couldn't have thanks to the rest of the freaking world interrupting them. He can practically count all the lashes on Kageyama’s eyes — huh, he never noticed how long and thick they were. Kageyama has some really pretty eyes, he also notices. Damn. Hinata shakily swallows as his grip on Kageyama unconsciously tightens. He tilts his head and moves it closer to Kageyama’s, who's doing the same. His eyes flicker down to Hinata’s lip, and butterflies surge in Hinata’s core. Kageyama _wants_ him, and now he can have him since they're in Hinata’s home and there's no one else but them—

“NII-CHAAAAN! I'M HOME!!”

“GAH!”

Hinata is unceremoniously shoved off Kageyama’s lap, sprawling on his back on his bedroom floor. He tilts his head back and sees — who else — Natsu, upside-down in the doorway.

“Nii-chan, what were you doing on Kageyama-nii’s lap?” Natsu asks curiously.

“Er, talking,” Hinata says. “We were just talking.”

“So close? But last time he came over, you weren't sitting on his lap then.”

Hinata fiddles with his fingers as he mutters, “Uh, yeah. It was some very… serious and personal stuff we were talking about. More serious and personal than the last time he came over.”

It’s hard to tell from the upside-down way he's looking at her, but Natsu looks like she's raising her eyebrows judgmentally. How can an elementary schooler look so judgemental, Hinata doesn't know.

“I talk to you about serious and personal stuff, too, but I don't sit on your lap to do that,” Natsu points out with her infallible eight-year-old logic.

“That, er… that's ‘cause you're a big girl, Natsu.”

“And your brother is too weak to bear your weight,” Kageyama adds, and Hinata whacks him over the head with one of his many pillows.

“Are you stronger than nii-chan, Kageyama-nii?” Natsu asks, all innocence and sunshine and Hinata can't stay mad at her when she's like that, even if she _did_ walk in on a private moment.

“Obviously.”

“Then carry me! I want to fly, but nii-chan can only make me fly for five minutes at most and that's not very fun!”

“Er…” Kageyama glances over to Hinata, pleading for help with his eyes. Even if this isn't his first time with Natsu, and she's clearly taken a shine to him, he still isn't completely comfortable with her.

“Yeah, go ahead,” Hinata says with a stifled groan. “Have fun.”

Kageyama stiffly waddles out of the room, following behind Natsu’s energetic scampering, and Hinata throws himself onto his bed.

Damn it, not even in his own home can he have a semblance of privacy with Kageyama.

* * *

**#6:**

You know how the weather is. One moment it’s sweltering hot, and the next it’s raining like it’s the apocalypse or something dramatic like that.

“This sucks like hell,” Kageyama grumbles as Hinata parks his bike in a corner of the pavilion they've taken refuge in. “Of _all_ days not to bring an umbrella.”

“Rushing somewhere?” Hinata asks idly.

“Well — not really,” Kageyama mutters, suddenly sounding awkward. “I mean, I have somewhere I kinda have to be but it’s not something — I didn't really wanna go for it anyway.”

“Huh, why not?”

Kageyama doesn't meet Hinata’s eyes as he says, sounding embarrassed and maybe even ashamed, “Er, just extended family coming over. Stupid, boring crap.”

Hinata arches his eyebrows in surprise. “Really? Extended family is fun!” He adores his extended family. They're all so sweet and loving; his cousins are a bunch of fun, even if they play other boring sports like basketball and badminton instead of volleyball, and his aunts bring him homemade cookies and they're so sweet and crunchy and _mmm_. He can't imagine describing his extended family stupid and boring.

Kageyama snorts. “Yeah, that's ‘cause you're you.”

“Wait, what's _that_ supposed to mean?” Hinata asks, frowning and a little stung.

“It’s like — this whole, like, becoming close to someone thing is so… so natural to you,” Kageyama says. He wrings his hands as he talks, like there are other unspoken words he doesn't know how to verbalise but still need an outlet. “You're so — _everyone_ likes you. The team, Yachi-san, hell, even rival teams. And it comes so naturally to you — getting close to people, and now kissing. It’s like being with people is a natural thing for you, and just — I don't know! That's not me!”

Hinata gapes at him, stunned by the sudden outburst. Where the heck did that come from? He had no idea Kageyama felt like that about him; he always thought Kageyama just saw him as an idiotic teammate and would-be make-out partner, if everyone else didn't keep intruding on them.

“Wait, so you — you don't want to kiss me?” Hinata asks, timid and afraid of the answer. All this time, he has just presumed from the shared glances, without actually asking Kageyama. But in hindsight, maybe he really should have asked before shoving him into quiet spaces.

Kageyama averts his gaze. “I didn't _say_ that, dumbass! It’s just — I want to, but also it’s… it’s awkward. It just doesn't come as naturally to me. I don't know. I know it’s weird. It’s something that's hard to explain to someone who has it come to them so naturally, y’know?”

And Hinata — well, he supposes he doesn't fully get it. Interacting with people, getting close to them, it all comes as naturally as breathing and jumping and running to him. It’s how things have always been for him ever since he was a kid, and he’s never had to put much thought into it.

But even if it’s not the same for Kageyama, he realises it doesn't matter all that much. Kageyama is still Kageyama, stupid, mean but also endearingly human in his own way. Hinata would never have guessed such an awkward and vulnerable part of Kageyama even existed, or that he would share it with him, but it makes something inside Hinata melt and be all _dawww_.

He takes several few steps closer to Kageyama, rises on to the balls of his feet and plants a quick, chaste kiss on his lips. As much as he'd like to grab Kageyama and pull him into a deep, passionate kiss, he figures this is a more fitting kiss — a sweet, tender kiss in a sweet, tender and vulnerable moment, just the two of them alone in a pavilion in the pouring rain, like some movie cliche.

“That's cool with me,” Hinata says with a sunny grin. “It’s cool if stuff like this doesn't come naturally to you — I’ll just take the lead and show you how it’s done!”

Something flashes in Kageyama’s eyes — and before Hinata realises it, Kageyama’s arms are curled tightly around him in a ferocious vice grip, dragging him flush against Kageyama’s firm body. Kageyama ducks his head and kisses him so aggressively it’s like they're competing or something.

And since Hinata never backs down from a challenge issued by Kageyama, he returns the kiss with an equal amount of aggression and then some more.

“You don't have to _show_ me anything, dumbass,” Kageyama says, breathing heavily after breaking away from the kiss. “I _know_ how to kiss. And I'm better than you at it, of course.”

Hinata puffs up with indignation. “No, _I_ am! I’ll show you, Stupid-yama!”

“Oh, it’s on, you little shit!”

And when Kageyama pulls him into another heated, competitive kiss, a huge firework of _bwah_ feelings go off in Hinata, right where his furiously pounding heart is. Finally, finally, _finally_ , after longing and yearning and wanting for so long, he finally has privacy with his Kageyama and the freedom to have his way with him.

They stay in the pavilion for a long time, even after the rain clears.

**Author's Note:**

> the ‘illusion of translucency’ thing Hinata was talking about is actually called the ‘illusion of transparency’! but because he's Hinata, he forgot the actual name of it. it’s a social psychological phenomenon where when you’re feeling particularly emotional, you believe everyone can see it too, when actually they may not be able to tell anything. i’m studying psychology, so i get really excited whenever i get to make use of the stuff I learn in my writing. lmfao i hope these random bits of psychology don’t get boring or weird.
> 
> send me more requests on my [tumblr!](https://hqissodelicate.tumblr.com/) i usually try to post some time mid-week or end of the week on tumblr first, then here. 
> 
> thanks for reading!


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